For the first time in eons, I’ve decided not to watch American Idol this season. I doubt they’ll miss me. I’m not in their target demographic, nor am I an educated listener. Quite often, I think someone gave a wonderful performance, and then the judges tear it to pieces. And I confess, I’ve only ever bought one winner’s CD, and that was Daughtry’s. So, yeah. No Idol this year.
I will be watching Mad Men when it returns because it’s great writing, but I really need to limit my distractions, and watching TV is low on my priority list anyway. I have far too many distractions at a time when I need NONE. During lunch with a writer friend last week, we talked about missing the fire we had when we wrote our last books, when the words came so fast we could barely keep up. I’ve had little success stoking that on my WIP.
Recently, I’ve read some blog posts about “excuses” for not writing. Needing long periods of quiet, uninterrupted time was mentioned as a bogus excuse. Well … maybe for those writers it is. I know many writers have small children and manage to write prolifically. I know many writers have day jobs and manage to write prolifically. I’m not one of those writers.
Last year, my schedule changed drastically. Gone, instantly, were the 40 hours per week of being alone, in silence, to write. I knew it might be harder to do, but I thought I could carry on. After all, I had this writing thing down pat. Maybe I could have if the stresses of those circumstances had not increased my fibromyalgia symptoms. It sent them raging, to be honest. Physical pain, I can work with, through, or around, but some of my symptoms are brain related, and that’s a bummer when you’re trying to write.
At times, my brain is foggy. I see the scene, I just can’t quite translate it to words. Like fish in water, the words are right there, but they slip out of my fingers when I try to grab them. Sometimes I can only see the shadows in a scene and when I look for the objects that cast them, they jumble and I can’t make sense of anything. It’s like The Muse is teasing me. Cruelly.
Then there’s the ADD-like symptoms. I open my file, type a few words, and then I find myself in the kitchen making tea. Or checking the pantry for dinner ingredients. Or googling for toothpaste without sodium laurel sulfate. Or playing a Facebook game. Or—believe it or not—cleaning out the junk drawer. Why did I stop writing? I have no clue. It just happens. Abducted by my alien brain.
When I realize what’s happened, I sit back down. I may write a paragraph or two at a time, so that’s progress of a sort, but the pace is horribly frustrating. It’s not as if I’m a literary writer who turns out a masterpiece every decade or two. So, the writing’s not going too well, but it’s not for lack of trying.
By the way, if any of you fibro suffers have a suggestion for fighting the fog and lack of concentration, I’d love to hear it.
I’d say keep doing what you’re doing; it’s good that you’re getting at least something down on the page.
Or, you can skip that scene for now and go to something later in your story. Maybe by concentrating on a different point in your book will get you motivated to write. Then later, you can go back to the scene where you stopped at.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
P.S. I love the title of this post!
Welcome, Yawatta, and thank you for the comment.
Unfortunately, with this type brain fog, it doesn’t matter what scene or story I work on, but I do keep trying. Slow is better than stop.
I am so sorry to hear about your fibro.
I’ve heard that is really difficult to live with. I’m tired all the time, but I think it’s due to my five-year-old. And I’ve been meaning to blog about this, but after you’ve published, getting back into writing is HARD. I’ve seen it happen over and over and over with authors. I think this is completely normal, if that helps any at all.
Oh yes, Michelle, I understand tiredness. I call them “vampire days” because it feels like someone drained the life out of me. But I also know how much energy it takes to raise a child. There were days I used bribes to get a few minutes peace. And kudos to you for getting so much writing done while caring for a preschooler. I could never have done that.
Huh? I thought you HAD blogged about the after publication slump.:?
Linda, we seem to be taking turns. I have been struggling with a disobedient, lazy muse for months–when I had all the time to write. Now, that I’m working at a temporary full-time job again, my muse seems to wake up slowly and I’m getting a little more writing done than when I had more time. Go figure! I think you just need to “go with the flow”–oh, what an overused Sixties expression. Write a little every day, one paragraph is enough and eventually, things will pick up again. Will they? Oh, I don’t know, but you just have to believe.
BTW, did you take those photos on your blog (the one at the top, etc.)? If yes, you are a great photographer. Perhaps taking pictures when the writing isn’t going that well might be a good balance.
I hope though you’re feeling better soon.
Christa
Well, Christa, I’m trying hard to believe things will pick up again, but the fear that they won’t niggles at my mind. Working on a small scale is all I can do at this point. That’s one reason I renewed my effort to write short stories.
I’m notorious for taking bad photos, so if you see one of mine here that looks good, you can assume it was by accident.
Actually, the header photo was taken by one of my sons. (That’s me at the far left.)
Thank you for the well wishes.
Linda, one of the blogs I followi is Joss at http://crowingcrone.wordpress.com/. She has just published a book on fibro and there may be something in that to help you. I do hope so.
But don’t think it is only those of you with an illness that keeps you from concentrating. Today after opening the computer and sitting down for ten minutes, I have done the laundry, talked on the phone to a friend (whom I saw just the other day) for about 40 minutes, just filling in time. Now I am sitting reading blogs – so what’s my excuse. Oh and the sun is now shining brightly perhaps I’ll go outside and sweep the patio!
Hope you feel better soon.
Thanks, Judith. I’ve subscribed to Joss’ BE WELL posts.
Oh yes, I’m naturally a bit discombulated, so it took me awhile to realize this was something different.
Thank you for the well wishes.
At times, my brain is foggy. I see the scene, I just can’t quite translate it to words….You have no idea how these words describe perfectly what I am encountering….perfect!! Thank you!
It’s frustrating, isn’t it, Chris? It’s hard to imagine if you haven’t experienced it. I have this whole book in my head, I just can’t get it out. At least not at a normal pace.
What a wonderful post today. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks you for sharing.
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The good news is that you wrote this very interesting and informative post so, you are in fact, WRITING! I really hope that the pace picks up and you are back to your old self sooner than soon!
I did, Joanne, but I won’t tell you how long it took or how many revisions it went through.
And thank you for the well wishes.
I’ve always figured that the novelists who can write novels in small snatches of time are extroverts (who dislike quiet) and either pansters or exceptional plotters.
Plotting is my weakness, and I need blocks of time in a somewhat quiet location to research and world-build (an activity that terrifies me, regardless of the common opinion that it’s supposed to be fun) then to remember why certain things need to happen. When I’m frequently distracted, my dialogue goes no where and my narrative looks like a quantum experiment–full of unexplained leaps.
Distractions aren’t always a bad thing, though. When I mysteriously walk away from a story or start organizing something that didn’t need organizing a moment before, that’s usually a sign that something with my story is bothering me.
See, each abduction might be your subconscious mind’s way of saying that something in your story isn’t working quite right, or that *you* aren’t working quite right. Maybe you really need that tea, or maybe you need to re-organize a scene.
I procrastinate the most when I’m afraid to face an aspect of the writing process. The best solution seems to be to face my fear, by writing about what I was trying to work on and what gets in my way.
Good luck with fighting your fog, Linda.
^^ I’m No Woman! Seriously, WordPress didn’t log me on before posting my comment.
I’ve experienced the “oblique” writing before, Ann, the need to take a break and let your subconscious work out something, but this is a whole different animal. This foggy brain and lack of concentration applies to everything I do lately, not just writing. (I guess I should have said that.) Sometimes I just give up and take a nap.
But I do know that fear you mentioned. I went through a spell of that before I started work on this novel. I procrastinated a long time before I made myself just sit down and start. Once I did, I quickly wrote all these notes and first draft scenes, but now the rest is going at a snail’s pace. It’s just so frustrating.
Oh, I truly understand about being interrupted in the middle of dialogue. When I “hear” mine, I take dictation, so when someone interrupts me, they interrupt my characters’ conversation.
I hope your writing is going great. And thank you for the well wishes.
I think it is a sign that you need to take a break; sometimes stepping away from the task works wonders–get the juices flowing again. I go through those spells every time I visit my grandchildren, I never want to come back home and it usually takes me a few days to get back into writing mode after the visit. Maybe you can work on research, or plan the book cover, or do something related to your book–even if you are not there yet, it might help inspire you.
I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you for the well wishes, Marcia. I think for now I just have to be satisfied with writing a paragraph at a time. But I am making plans to do something else creative that doesn’t involve words, hoping to shake things loose.
As a fibro sufferer, I hear you on the fog. The most useful tool I’ve used to combat it, is paper and pen. Really. for some reason, I can get my words down on paper with a pen, much faster and easier than I can sitting in front of a screen.
I’m sure there’s some sort of scientific jargon that it’s called, but I don’t know what it is. Neuro stimuli blah blah blah
And once it’s down on paper, then I transfer it to the computer, and because it’s already written, it feels like I”m just transferring dictation.
And then, the next time I look at it, I’ve forgotten that I wrote it, and it’s like reading a whole new book, so it’s easier to revise. It’s not the revision process that gets me it’s the initial writing, that’s why I do it with Paper and pen.
Thanks for weighing in, Anne. I didn’t know you had FMS too. Oh my, writing with pen and paper. That may fit my slow brain better right now, but my handwriting has deteriorated so much, and it wasn’t all that great to begin with. I think I’ll give it a try though, and hope I can decipher later what I’ve written.
And I guess the forgetting does help with revision.
I was diagnosed with FMS in 1995, refused the sleeping pills, anti depressants, and started my own research. Every symptom led me back to diet problems/solutions. I beat it by 2000 with absolutely healthy food and water (no take out, canned, salted, preserved, colored, etc), de-stress (no night commitments, etc.) daily exercise (started when I was in total pain), with the help of naturopath and chiropractor and masseuse and praying friends. I recommend the Well Being Journal by Cappacione (1995). I wrote a lot about it: http://www.fibromyalgiawisdom.blogspot.com. It was make it a priority at age 54, or spend the next 30 years in pain. Take charge. It’s your first priority challenge.
Another voice of experience. Thanks for commenting, Mary Jean. I’ve never really taken it seriously before this past year because my symptoms were manageable, but I know I need to get serious now. I can see how you made a total life change. That’s overwhelming to look at it whole, but I can do it one or two steps at a time.
Do it whole: de-stress, improve diet, exercise. Start small. In a few weeks you will see improvement. Keep records or you won’t really know.
Thanks for the advice, Mary Jean.
Linda, I believe that diet affects everything .. and why wouldn’t it? You know the saying, ‘you are what you eat’. Whatever we put into our bodies shows up in some way .. good or bad. Sadly, we have moved so far from natural healthy foods, or added junk to them, so that now we are suffering the results. I have had to change my diet due to intolerances and sensitivities to lactose, gluten, sugar, yeast, eggs .. and on goes the list. I have added some things back in but I can’t say it is the best thing I can do for myself. I feel better when I eat better, makes sense, doesn’t it?
May I give you a diversion? I have given you The Versatile Blogger award and you can find out the details in my January 22’12 blog post. http://www.lynnadavidson.wordpress.com
Blessings on your day and week.
Well, Lynn, I certainly can’t claim I eat only natural foods and a balanced diet. Improving diet is first on my list. Thank you for the award. It may take a bit before I do another linky post, but I will get to it.
I was having some of the same issues you mentioned. I finally put some blank, lined paper in a clipboard, grabbed a pen and went to the local coffee shop. For the price of one tea, I sat there for hours penning out whatever part of the story came to me. That helped immeasurably.
Good for you, Jess. My fog has cleared somewhat now, and I’ve been working on a short story.