Category Archives: Goals

The Words Pile Up

Posted in Goals, My Books, Novel, Writing by

I don’t know about you, but I can’t believe it’s August already. It seems a cruel trick that the older you get, the faster time seems to pass. I have so many projects brewing, but they all have to wait, now. As you can see on the progress meter in the sidebar, I’ve reached the 75% mark in writing the first draft of my next novel. It’s time to hunker down and finish.

If you’ve wondered why I never refer to my WIP by title, it’s because I don’t have one. I did. I felt it was perfect, and then I thought to check how many other books have the same title. Too many, I’m afraid. Now, as I write, the title question is always in the back of my mind. And whether my new title will work with the cover image I’d already chosen.

But now, all that really matters is writing. Writing. And writing.

I’m trying not to think of what comes next—editing. I love that process, but I anticipate more of it on this book than I had on The Brevity of Roses, simply because I worked differently this time. I got the idea for this novel while I was still writing Brevity, but it was not the next novel I started. This story idea marinated for a year and a half, during which I would occasionally pull it out and turn it over.

Then, last June, I felt ready to begin the writing. I started fine with notes, a basic outline, an opening scene. By August, I’d the first three chapters and some disjointed scenes based on the outline. Then, for several months, illness limited my writing time. I made brutally slow progress. Yadda, yadda, yadda, and now I’m nearing the finish.

What have I learned this last year? First, “the best laid plans of mice and men” applies. Second, the process of writing a novel is somewhat different each time—or maybe I haven’t perfected a system yet. Three, if you don’t give up, even if you can write no more than a sentence or two some days, the words pile up and you write a novel.

Now, it’s back to writing for me. What are you up to?

This writer is looking forward

Posted in Doubt, Dream, Goals, Reflections, Writing by

Looking back at my life during the past year, I can see losses and gains, but I can’t yet judge the long-term effects. Every year at this time, psychics make predictions for the coming year. I have no such gift. I can only make resolutions, affirming to myself and all, my intent for the future.

New beginnings are hopeful. This year I’m excited about opportunities to advance in my writing and publishing career. One change I hope to make that will affect not only my writing, but my life in general is obtaining—and maintaining—a balance.

In 2011, I neglected not only the usual housework, but gardening as well. I don’t think my roses will survive another year of the same kind of neglect. In general, I spent too much time in my cave. Since my 2012 plans include publishing one book and writing another, it’s imperative that I improve my time management.

This doesn’t mean I’m creating spreadsheets, but it does mean I’ll be working to conquer my habit of letting doubt (fear) derail my writing. In 2011, I probably wasted a good 30% of my writing time hand-tied by indecision. I vow not to let that happen in this next year. I will boldly write what no woman has written before.

In her recent blog post When You Allow Others to Decide Your Dreams, Michelle Davidson Argyle said:

“Nobody’s goals and rules are ever going to match up to my own on the unique path I’m on. Even if I met all those goals I see floating around online on so many blogs and Facebook statuses and Twitter feeds, I still wouldn’t be happy because I would not have met the deepest desires of my own heart …”

And this:

“I think we authors often forget what we really want. I think we often delude ourselves into thinking we want what everyone else wants, and it’s creating this insane sense of urgency in our heads. We pump out our work faster and harder and less carefully than we would otherwise. We feel pressured, more than anything else, to meet certain criteria, follow the lists and rules and advice others post, and it hurts us deeply when we can’t meet that criteria at breakneck speed. For me, at least, this urgency transformed itself into an energy-sucking, emotionally-draining need.

Until I realized that for me it was an illusion and unnecessary.”

Michelle expressed my dilemma. My lack of self-confidence leads me to compare everything I do to what other writers do, seeking a stamp of approval. At best, that works only temporarily. Sooner or later, doing what others did leads to frustration, doubt, fear because their plan, their path, their dream doesn’t “fit” me.

Let me toast to the New Year. New beginnings. New opportunities. Another chance to get it right.

In 2012, I vow to follow MY dreams. What about you?

I’m back … sort of

Posted in Blog Stuff, Goals, Writing by

Just dropping in from the longest break I’ve ever taken to let you know I haven’t given up blogging. I didn’t plan to leave the same post up for ten days. I just couldn’t find enough quiet moments to sit down and write something new. I’m rushing now to get this written and take a shower before the crowd returns again.

I hope your year is wrapping up well. This year was certainly the worst of times and best of times for me. This time last year, I was struggling with a choice between continuing to seek a traditional publishing career and going the self-publishing route. I chose the latter, of course.

Because I only have one book out there, it’s too soon to tell if I made the right choice. It’s certainly been a learning experience though, and that’s never a bad thing. Now, I’m reevaluating everything concerned with writing, so I can make better progress in 2012.

Right now, 2012 is set to start on a positive note concerning my work, so I’ll claim that as a good sign. I guess I should start working on something for February. Goal setting has never been my strength, but I’m determined to “hit the gym” on that this next year.

Your turn: Let’s end on a positive note. How was 2011 a good year for you?

Always, this ache in my heart

Posted in Goals, Musings, Words, Writing by

I’ve set my novel aside for just a little while to write some short stories. I traded in the cello for the fiddle and banjo because Bluegrass music better sets the mood for the latest few stories I’ve worked on. Then again, that music fits my mood no matter what I’m writing for another reason—the underlying heartache.

There’s heartache behind everything I write. This past year has been one of the hardest of my real life, but I’m not referring to that heartache. I don’t write about that. I write to forget that. The heartache I refer to is not in my life or even in my writing. It’s for my writing.

Each time I begin a story, I hope this will be The One. This will be the story written so beautifully I’ll amaze myself. This will be the story that captures my true feelings, my true thoughts, my heart.

Frustrated, I watch the hope melt away as I write, never quite managing to put the words I feel on paper. I type ghosts, gossamer imitations, words of gauze. The story flows from my heart a rich, full-bodied cabernet, but seeps from my brain a cheap, watery plonk.

Because some of what I’ve written has pleased others, I try to convince myself to be satisfied with that, but among the thousands of words I write, I see phrases, a sentence, perhaps a paragraph, that hint of what the whole could be, if only I knew how to fully open that connection from heart to brain.

Those diamonds among the rhinestones haunt me. This is not my perfectionism rearing its ugly head. I’m disappointed, not because I didn’t always choose the perfect words, but because I didn’t convey what I intended with those words, perfect or imperfect.

I know what’s in my heart and I believe it’s possible to release that. So, I can only write and write and write until the words flow unimpeded, powerful, and pure. Until then, there’s an ache in my heart.

On being an accidental author

Posted in Advice, Author, Craft, Doubt, Fiction, Goals, Motivation, My Books, Novel, Tips, Writing by

In case you tuned in late to this blog, maybe I should explain that I started it as a public journal of my adventures in writing. I often confess things a professional author should probably keep to herself. Lately, I’ve come to doubt my professionalism. Maybe I’m more an accidental author.

I stumbled into writing The Brevity of Roses for publication. It was inspired by a dream, written into a story for myself and a friend, and then kept growing. I joined a critique group for help. I read books and blogs and sites to learn how to write better.

For the two years I wrote, edited, and polished, I thought about little else than Brevity. What I didn’t do was think about myself as an author. I didn’t think about a writing career in any sense other than generally. I didn’t think about being where I am now.

In a sense, I feel like I’ve just awakened in a strange place, confused and … nekkid. What the heck have I done? I feel so exposed. Of course, it’s only my writing that’s exposed, but it’s hard to see that as separate from myself.

I can no longer pretend that my writing is this or that, that the story is something it’s not. Some days, that hits me hard and I want to hide my eyes and pretend you can’t see me. I think about closing this blog, my Twitter account, and my Facebook Page. On the worst of those days, I consider pulling my novel off the market.

Then, something else clicks in and I lecture myself. So you’re not quite the writer you want to be. Keep working at it. So you jumped in the deep end. Dog-paddle for all you’re worth. Whether you got here by accident or design, you’re an author. Suck it up and write—and keep writing until you reach your goal—and then you’ll continue writing because you’ll be the writer you always wanted to be.

Professional or not, I wanted to be honest about my journey. I hope none of you do or ever will feel like an accidental author, but if you do, remember you’re not alone. Just keep writing.

Numbers are killing me!

Posted in Advice, Goals, Marketing, Social Media, Tips, Writing by

I’ve never liked numbers. Throughout my school days, math was the only academic class I really had to study for. Numbers are impersonal. They’re the opposite of words. I love words. I can relate to them.

Now, I’ve become surrounded by numbers. How many blog subscribers do I have? Have many Twitter followers? How many Facebook friends? How many books have I sold this week? Counting, counting, counting. And for what?

I am a writer. None of those totals makes me a better writer. In fact, obsessing over those numbers hurts my writing. Numbers have kidnapped me from words.

Lately, I’ve let too many of my days be ruined by numbers—the lack of them, the loss of them. The only numbers I need care about are word counts. Even then, I can’t obsess. Twenty words today, two thousand tomorrow, it all adds up to writing.

Words are my life’s blood. Numbers? Well, they’re the vampires.