You never know what you’ll find when you clean house. I have now made it most of the way around my “workroom.” This is where I write, do genealogy research, make jewelry, draw, and do whatever else requires a big table or a computer. Every inch of this room is occupied. Also in this room are two deep closets crammed with … well, a lot of stuff. I’ve now cleaned and organized those two closets.
I found a dozen errant beads that had rolled off my workbench and under the doors. I found the pack of mechanical pencils that I knew I’d bought but never opened. And I found a bag of a ten or so new bottles of craft paint that had been “lost” inside the bag of felt pieces. But the best find was in a box in the office supply closet. I found old computer disks.
On two of the disks, I found some of my old writing files, and I’m working up the nerve to open them. Others are files from the first two online critique groups I belonged to in 2000. As soon as I saw the writers’ names, I remembered the plots of the books they were working on at the time. I did some research and found out that, of the three writers I worked most closely with in those groups, two of them have been published and the third mentors other published writers.
So, of course, I asked myself where I might be now, if I hadn’t let life get the better of me. Just as quickly, I let that go. I reminded myself that I believe all things happen for a reason. I’m where I’m supposed to be right now.
I was a different person then. I hadn’t read some of the books I needed to read. I hadn’t met some of the people I needed to know. I hadn’t experienced some of the things I needed to to enable me to write what I can write now. So I’ll let go my envy and I’ll practice patience. My time will come.
Linda,
I love that you found — tucked between those computer disks — such strong self-awareness to understand what needed to happen in those intervening years, to get you where you are now. You have inspired me today!
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Thank you for visiting, Jane, and taking the time to leave a comment. It’s always satisfying to hear that I’ve inspired someone. I am thankful for the times that I can stand back and see things clearly. Those moments inspire me to keep plugging away in the dark or frustrating times.
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Yes, letting go is hard. Life so easily pushes in. You are well on your way though, so don’t discount that:)
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Christina, nice to see you “out and about”! 🙂 Yep, not looking back, just moving forward.
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