Doubt, Writing

and then, one day it all falls to pieces

Three weeks ago, I was working happily on a second novel. I was enthusiastic about some tips I’d received for marketing my first novel. I thought my career direction was clear in my mind. And then, CRASH! Suddenly, every aspect of my writing seems as jumbled as the blocks in this photo.

I can’t point to any particular thing that made it all fall apart. No one gave Brevity a devastating review. No one told me I should be ashamed to call myself a writer … or blogger … or human being.

Yet here I sit, questioning what I should write—and blog—about and wondering if I should be writing for readers at all. And if I should … well, I believe I’m going about it all wrong. Now, when I sit down at this keyboard, I feel like a big bumbling oaf thrashing around madly in a pea soup fog.

If you’ve followed this blog awhile, you might be thinking this sounds familiar. I know. I’m prone to meltdowns over my writing, and I blog about them. Somehow, this feels different. Maybe because I can’t identify the cause. And until I can, I don’t know what to do about it.

So, I’m reading a lot. Not writing … except for sorry posts like this. (And a whining email or two.) I hope to put these pieces back together soon, though I have a feeling they might not fit the same. They may take on a new shape. I hope you’ll understand if my posts are a little weird until then.

53 thoughts on “and then, one day it all falls to pieces”

  1. Linda, I just finished reading a great book by a fellow author, wrote a review, and went to check out her blog. I found a depressed, frustrated woman who is wondering if what she writes is any good and why then isn’t she selling more books. I’m getting the feeling that it is the most talented authors who are the least secure and the most doubtful when it comes to their writing. How ironic.

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    1. I followed your Goodreads page to that author, Christa. Oh these ups and downs. I fear we’re all driving ourselves crazy. You’d think by now, I’d be able to ignore them. This one just felt different and took me by surprise.

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  2. Hi Linda, I agree it is a touch of “imposter syndrome” sneaking in. The inner critic has a bag of crafty tricks and that is a fun one to pull out either before someone writes (to stop them) or after they’ve complete something (to stop them from doing it again). I’ve been a reader of your blog for a little bit now and you have great insights, feedback and stories to share. If you need to take a little time away from the new WIP right now, then reading a lot is a fantastic option. Who doesn’t like getting caught up on their to-be-read list?

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  3. Don’t take this the wrong way, but THANK GOD I’m not alone feeling this way! LOL

    I have been an absolute mess trying to figure out time to work on a novel, blog 3x, take a writing class online, start a writing group, and edit for another. Oh yah, and there’s my 50+ hour time-sucking “day job.” I was feeling like a total loser and wondering if I shouldn’t just postpone my dream of writing another year cause maybe it’s not meant to be, but I really DON’T want to do that. Your post helped me realize we all beat ourselves up and get frustrated and stuck. Thank you for writing honestly and sharing those real moments of being a writer that suck in addition to the good creative moments.

    Have a laugh at your inner critic for a change. Check out this post I did about what film villain embodies my inner critic. Might give you some ammunition against yours. 🙂
    http://doingthewritething.wordpress.com/2011/07/29/i-hear-voices-by-jess-witkins/

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    1. Believe me, Jess, if my schedule was as full as yours, I’ve be having a meltdown daily. You have my admiration!

      I enjoyed your “villain” post. I’m familiar with that same voice advising how easy it would be. 😉

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    1. I’m glad you find something you like here, Thinker. I read your post and it added to my desire to have a separate blog, not focused on writing, where I can have more freedom to speak about whatever is on my mind.

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  4. Hi Linda, I appreciate how sincere you are in your post and illustrate your true frustration. I like how it has an awe of positiveness as well, due to your talent in writing, if that makes any sense? It’s true that a writer will always have something to write about, even when he/she feels down. A break is a good idea and experience something else for while and before you know it, you’ll feel better again.

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