This is my third attempt to write a new blog post. I produced grumpy posts from the first two topics. So, instead, I’ll talk about my recent decision to change my negative attitudes. I’ve discovered it’s not easy to become more positive. I hear myself saying or thinking negatively and correct it like an echo of Willy Wonka: “Strike that. Reverse it.”
Apparently, I’m naturally a gloomy person. I was born at twilight; I wonder if that’s the reason. I’ve always been attracted to the dark tales. It shouldn’t surprise me that it’s hard for me to maintain a constant sunny outlook. My husband has pointed out for many years that I instantly think of the worst scenario in any situation.
Of course, I always protest his assessment. The fact is, I laugh a lot. And I may have an odd sense of humor, but I do have one—though I don’t have the knack of translating that well into words.
I look over the stories I hope to publish soon and see deaths, divorces, murders, childhood terrors, a rape, the loss of hope. Yet, the first novel I published is a love story?! What’s that about? My light and dark sides fight it out. Thankfully, my dark side is content to be fulfilled through fiction—and occasional blog posts.
I think I’ll go mix up a batch of brownies and then sit in the sun while they bake. Maybe I’ll come up with a sweet, happy story to write. Well … maybe not that sweet. Or happy. *sigh*
16 thoughts on “I ain’t no Pollyanna”
there’s a middle ground that I find very interesting, instead of seeing through the glass darkly or trying to force yourself to look through the sunny side, try the middle. Most of life isn’t black or white anyway. The only thing is, seeing through this area tests one’s abilities to see and accept both of the other sides and allow that they are neither good, nor bad, they simply are.
I think I tapped into that once for a nano second, I was cleaning the kitchen and instead of thinking grumbly thoughts about how messy everyone here is, I felt grateful to have things to get dirty. It’s kind of nuts, but I liked it. Keep on keepin’ on. : )
Well, Jess, I think indecisive me is firmly entrenched in the middle ground most of the time. 😉
People are sometimes negative, because we are afraid of being disappointed, and if you expect and prepare yourself for the worst, well, then, no matter what happens, you kind of are prepared for it, or at least, that is what we think. The problem is, if one is ALWAYS negative, it’s as if we almost draw all that negativity towards us, and then, we become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Been there, done that. I try to be more positive now, but I know how you feel, it’s hard…
Alannah, I think I blogged about that once. I don’t usually let myself get too excited about some upcoming thing for fear of disappointment. But I fear, as you said, that I might draw too much negativity to myself that way. Realistic optimism … is that the happy medium?
I once let my dark side off its leash and sent a publication that had published a story of mine before and asked for another, a very dark disturbing piece. I think they were afraid of me after that *laughing* — so I leashed Darkling Me back up and put her back down in the bowels of my black hole brain where I can’t see her (oh but she lurks ! 😀 )
Oh my, Kathryn, now I’m trying to imagine just what you wrote. 🙂 I’m not sure I have the nerve to record my darkest thoughts.