Last week, I had lunch with two other writers and came home totally depressed. I don’t blame them. They didn’t do or say anything directly to bottom me out. As I listened to them speak, I realized I felt disconnected from their world. That night I told my husband I’d decided to quit writing. He told me to sleep on it.
For four days I didn’t write a word, not even a blog post. Instead, I read. And I played a lot of games on Facebook. At first, that felt weird. I was anxious. By the end of the second day, I relaxed. It felt right not to be writing. I could just walk away. Let it go.
On the third day, I realized I’d returned to the way I’d told stories for most of my life— in my head. I continued with the story I’d been trying to force into a novel for months. It flowed without effort. I enjoyed it. But not until late on the fourth day did I actually “hear” the story, and when I did, I knew why I’d quit working on the version for publication.
Let’s back up a bit.
I’d been writing that novel in my head for months before I sat down to begin entering it into a Word file, so I wrote the first few chapters quickly. I opened with a short chapter in third person past tense and then moved to first person present tense (FPPT) for the next chapters because that was the way I “heard” the main character’s voice. I would use three short third-past chapters spaced throughout the book, but the bulk would be in first-present.
Then I read that most current novels for the adult market are written in third-past, and a first person novel is hard to write well, and present tense is tiring or boring or some other negative for the reader. I questioned my wisdom. I revised. I changed all the chapters to the “best” person and tense. I pushed on.
I wrote a couple of chapters more, and then got distracted by other projects. I wrote another chapter of the novel, and then I worked on something more pressing. I wrote a paragraph or two for the novel, and then I got this great idea and worked it into a short story. I wrote a few words on the novel, and then … and then … and then I gave up on it.
I stopped writing the novel. I stopped writing. Period.
Why? Well, it seems if you stop listening to your character’s voice, eventually that character stops speaking to you. She says, “You don’t like the way I’m telling this story? Fine. Tell it without me.”
Do over. Stop being a sheep. Revise the revision. Start listening again. Write.
48 thoughts on “My decision to quit writing”
I saw this post in my email the other day, and freaked a little. You’re my indie idol. I couldn’t bear the thought of you giving up writing.
Why, thank you for the vote of confidence, KS. 🙂
You can mix the tense if you know how, I suspect you do. Style determines which one to use, not other writers or critics. I think past tense, first person would suit your style.
But what do I know?
Thanks for visiting, Mike. Yes, I know how to mix tenses, and the bulk of this novel will be first person, but I’m still not firm on whether I want to use present or past tense. But I’ll figure it out eventually. 😉
You could try writing a synopsis of you novel or summary of the story in past tense and then again in present tense and compare them. I think you would find past tense easier; but present tense more challenging. Then you can choose!
I’ve already written versions of the first several chapters in both tenses, Mike. I just haven’t made up my mind which I like better. I’m too busy writing now to stop and decide.