Hello from Grouchland

I’ve tried for days to write a blog post with a little substance. That’s something I do once in a while to keep you on your toes. But the truth is I’ve grown grouchier each of those days. I don’t know why. I can name a few things that have contributed to it, but not what started it.

Contribution #1:  As I said in my last post, work on my WIP was going well and continued for another two days. Then I realized that even after I add in the remaining pre-written scenes, flesh them out a bit, and fill-in any needed connecting scenes, I’m not going to make my 80,000 word goal. Grrrr.

Contribution #2:  What I consider the best story I’ve written has shown itself to be lacking. When I know a piece has problems, I expect feedback to confirm that. But when I think I’ve written something the best I know how, and that’s not good enough, it undermines my confidence. I start questioning all my work. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to assess my work correctly. Grumble.

Contribution #3:  I’m trapped in an alien body. For most of my adult life, people assumed I was younger than my years because of my skin. Now, it’s as though all those years caught up with me at once. So far, my face is not too bad, but that’s because I need to lose weight. I shudder to think how much more crepey my skin will appear as I deflate. Gripe.

Contribution #4:  Ominous people talk to me all night. I love to dream because I get story ideas from them. Of course, I have to remember the dream first. Lately, all I remember is that I dreamed and it wasn’t pleasant. At most, I retain a glimpse of the setting or a snatch of an event. This morning, I sat up before I was fully awake, and the words someone had just spoken stayed in my head long enough for me to grab the notepad and pen I keep by my bed. These were the words:

“The evil men do to themselves is often far greater than is done to them.”

The voice sounded remarkably like Frasier Crane’s. Ha! My subconscious, the psychiatrist. Okay, so analyzing that, I assume I’ve brought this grouchiness on myself. How? WHY? Grinding of teeth.

Oh, I know, tomorrow something fabulous could happen and I’ll zip right out of Grouchland. Maybe 30,000 words will drop out of the sky for my WIP, and a few little tweaks will make that story shine, and … well … I guess I’m stuck with this skin, but hey, it’s better than no skin.

As for bringing this grouchiness on myself—NAH—I think I’ve figured it out. I’m blaming the eclipse.

16 thoughts on “Hello from Grouchland

  1. Fraser talking to you in your dreams??!!! Rofl.

    Do you know what’s making me grouchy? My son hasn’t slept in 2 nights–that’s making me very grouchy! And that they canceled Awake. I’m not a big tv fan so when I find a show I actually really like it’s a treat for me. Now they’ve gone and cancled two I like (the other is *blush blush* Secret Circle. I can’t help it–anything witchy and I’m hooked).

    I always thought I’d be ok with aging, but I’m finding as I’m getting later in my 30s I’m having a difficult time with it. It surprises me that I’m reacting like this as I’m getting closer to 40. I see my grandma who is 88 and she’s seeing all these changes in herself and she tells me how hard it is–she was always strong and beatiful. She still is to me, just not to herself. Hugs LInda.

    ps. my son received an oscar the grouch shirt for his bday last week. It’s says: 100% pure grouch and proud of it. Maybe we should market them for adults?

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    1. I suspect not enough sleep is contributing to my grouchiness too, Jennifer. I slept nine hours last night though, so we’ll see. I hope you get some restful sleep soon.

      Oh, I’m so angry about Awake being cancelled. Jason Isaacs is nominated for an Emmy for his role! Stupid commercial TV. I haven’t watched the finale yet.

      I never thought I’d care about aging either, but I guess that’s because I always looked younger than I was. It’s just weird because in my mind I’m not old. That’s why I feel like this is not my body. 🙂

      Ha ha, yeah Oscar shirts for men and Grundgetta shirts for women.

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      1. He’s being nominated even though the show was canceled?
        I was reading a lot of people griping that reality tv is taking over and anything substantial won’t make it. Oh well, but it is too bad, was a great show!
        The finale was definitly an odd wrap-up to me, but I guess they did the best they could to satisfy readers. I wonder what you think of it once you’ve seen it.

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  2. Fraser’s reply: “Grinding of teeth. That’s the kind of nonsense Niles would suggest.”

    🙂

    Have a good weekend!

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    1. I don’t grind my teeth in my sleep, Mary Jean. I think my spate of bad dreams is partly because I’m writing not too pleasant scenes in my WIP. As for wakefulness, that’s usually a combination of sounds from open windows and an annoying cat. 😉

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  3. This put a smile on my face, but I empathize with your frustration. Don’t worry about your skin …you’re beautiful, and so is your expression in writing. 🙂

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