CANCER

I debated whether to blog about my latest personal trial. This is not a writing instruction blog, but I’ve also not often blogged about my non-writing life—my life as an ordinary human. Funny thing is, I’d been thinking of doing just that before my current ordeal began. I just never expected to start with such a biggie.

beach-8-15My forty-eighth wedding anniversary was 31 August. That’s certainly something to celebrate. My husband quickly arranged a day trip to the ocean for an early celebration because we didn’t know what our situation would be in the coming week. Unfortunately, I spent our actual anniversary day in the hospital. Two weeks earlier I’d been diagnosed with cancer. Now, I’m home recovering from major surgery and a bit shell-shocked at how much one’s life can change overnight.

Before 17 August, I was focused on daily promoting my latest novel on Facebook and Twitter, and I was elated to see its Amazon sales rank rising to levels I never expected to hit with a full-priced book. The renewed interest in my first two novels was the cherry on top. Life was exciting and good.

Then a doctor spoke the word cancer and none of that mattered. Suddenly, my thoughts were on whether my husband could handle my death, whether I would live to see all my grandchildren grow up, whether I would die before my elderly mother, whether I would be alive at Christmastime. One night I was disappointed to realize I might not see the third season of Sleepy Hollow.  Yes, you go a little insane when you know you have a large time bomb inside you. Thankfully, I had an excellent surgeon who moved things along ASAP.

I believe we live many lives, so I wasn’t afraid of death, only of the process of dying. I shared my “news” with only close family, two childhood friends, and two writer-friends who have maintained close contact with me. They were, of course, all loving and supportive. Then, at every turn, I was amazed at the kindness of strangers: doctors, nurses, and technicians. I think only the best of the best were chosen to care for me.

So here we are, twenty-three days after the diagnosis. The surgery went well, the pathology report was reassuring, and I may not need any chemo. I’m healing normally, though slower than I’d like. I’m happy to be surrounded by so much love and caring, and I hope to return it more diligently than I have been. I’m looking forward to eating real food again. I’m anxious to get back to my “social life” on Facebook. I’m back to thinking about marketing High Tea & Flip-Flops, which fell sharply in sales rank while I was in the hospital. And I’m itching to write the next book. My family says that one of my statements while I was still half doped after surgery was, “How am I going to make a romantic comedy out of this?”

Life goes on. 🙂

Linda

16 thoughts on “CANCER

  1. Healing thoughts and warm wishes to you! Wonderful blog. Thank you for sharing. I totally think that your drug-induced brainstorming is on the money–there’s a romantic comedy there. The Chemo Crush…

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  2. Thank so much for sharing this! Just know this, my own mom had pancreatic cancer 24.5 years ago, and she did NOT opt for what the 1st doctor said to do, which was NOTHING. She got a second opinion and did her surgery, chemo and radiation. That was 24 years ago and she is still here!! You have many years ahead of you, so, for now, just HEAL! Plus, It is wonderful that you have such an awesome support system!! ❤ Love, 5th cousin Kathy! 🙂

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  3. Thank you for sharing. Tough duty, but happy to hear you feel as I know from experience; there is another life awaiting us at the end of the tunnel of light. Praying you heal quickly to enjoy the life you are in today. Love you.

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  4. I’m sure there’s a story– romantic comedy or not — in there somewhere. My thoughts are with you as you navigate back into the waters of real life. As Dory says, “Just keep swimming.”

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